Dear Multiply User,
I don't know you. Therefore, I won't add you. Stop sending me invites that I will just reject. I don't care whatever kind of t-shirt you make, 'cause I don't have any money to buy them. And if you just want to invade into my private network just to have more contacts, sorry, but I respect my contacts' privacy.
And, no, I don't want to and won't be able to do business with you soon. And, no, I won't mention who you are, as it would provide publicity for you. Hah! If you really do know me, you'd mention it in your message. But as far as I remember, I know nobody with your handle or real name. Just because we're both in the same country doesn't mean we're already acquainted in any way.
The next invite you send me will be forwarded to Multiply's abuse report.
Sincerely,
Real-life Contacts Only,
Inggo
24.2.09
8.2.09
On McDonald's Hamburgers
Dear McDo,
I asked for something simple—a hamburger. It's basically your Cheeseburger—and I'm talking about your regular Cheeseburger, not your Cheeseburger deluxe—without the cheese. I even said I was willing to pay the same price for the Cheeseburger. And yet you insist that there's no such thing as a "hamburger" in your menu. Instead, you point me to another burger in your menu—Burger McDo.
I know what a Burger McDo is, and it is not a hamburger. I don't feel like eating cheese in my burger today. And I don't feel like having your mayo-ketchup sauce in my burger either. I want a plain hamburger, without the cheese, but with the pickle, ketchup, mayo, and onions. And I emphasize the "without the cheese" part.
How hard is it to remove the cheese from your burger? It's just a small slice, damnit. Do you cook your burgers with the cheese in the grill? I doubt.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy your Cheeseburger sometimes. And I usually have your Burger McDo. But today I'm feeling plain old hamburger, and you tell me you don't have it when clearly you do.
tl;dr: Bring back "Hamburger" in your hamburger store.
Sincerely,
Not Feeling Cheese in His Burger Today,
Inggo
P.S.
While you're at it, why not create a Double Hamburger in your menu? Or a Double Burger McDo. If this sells, I expect some compensation for the idea.
P.P.S.
Why did you remove your McRice burger? I found it extremely delicious.
I asked for something simple—a hamburger. It's basically your Cheeseburger—and I'm talking about your regular Cheeseburger, not your Cheeseburger deluxe—without the cheese. I even said I was willing to pay the same price for the Cheeseburger. And yet you insist that there's no such thing as a "hamburger" in your menu. Instead, you point me to another burger in your menu—Burger McDo.
I know what a Burger McDo is, and it is not a hamburger. I don't feel like eating cheese in my burger today. And I don't feel like having your mayo-ketchup sauce in my burger either. I want a plain hamburger, without the cheese, but with the pickle, ketchup, mayo, and onions. And I emphasize the "without the cheese" part.
How hard is it to remove the cheese from your burger? It's just a small slice, damnit. Do you cook your burgers with the cheese in the grill? I doubt.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy your Cheeseburger sometimes. And I usually have your Burger McDo. But today I'm feeling plain old hamburger, and you tell me you don't have it when clearly you do.
tl;dr: Bring back "Hamburger" in your hamburger store.
Sincerely,
Not Feeling Cheese in His Burger Today,
Inggo
P.S.
While you're at it, why not create a Double Hamburger in your menu? Or a Double Burger McDo. If this sells, I expect some compensation for the idea.
P.P.S.
Why did you remove your McRice burger? I found it extremely delicious.
26.1.09
On Homeworld MRT Adverts
Dear Homeworld voice actress,
You are probably the most pathetic lady I have ever heard. Who goes window shopping for furniture every fucking day on the same fucking store? I'd understand someone going every week, but every single day? If the store ships stuff every day, and a furniture store for this matter, I'd assume that this store would go broke pretty soon. Clothes I'd understand a little more, but furniture? Oh, come on!
Seriously, find a better hobby.
Sincerely,
Concerned MRT Passenger,
Inggo
P.S.
I am aware you're just reading from a script. I just got very irritated after hearing your advertisement every time the train stops for a station the entire day. Anyway, the writer sucks and makes you sound like a loser.
You are probably the most pathetic lady I have ever heard. Who goes window shopping for furniture every fucking day on the same fucking store? I'd understand someone going every week, but every single day? If the store ships stuff every day, and a furniture store for this matter, I'd assume that this store would go broke pretty soon. Clothes I'd understand a little more, but furniture? Oh, come on!
Seriously, find a better hobby.
Sincerely,
Concerned MRT Passenger,
Inggo
P.S.
I am aware you're just reading from a script. I just got very irritated after hearing your advertisement every time the train stops for a station the entire day. Anyway, the writer sucks and makes you sound like a loser.
On Philippine Education
Dear DepEd,
Your education system sucks. That is all.
Sincerely,
Five-year Freshman,
Inggo
Your education system sucks. That is all.
Sincerely,
Five-year Freshman,
Inggo
14.1.09
On Street Children Parents III
Dear Parents,
I never would've thought I'd need to send you another letter on the same subject, and so soon.
The time was just past seven, Just today, on my way home from school. I was riding a Project 6 jeepney from Trinoma. The jeep halted on a red light before turning left to Mindanao Avenue. A street child, maybe in early puberty, went in the vehicle and began wiping the people's footwear. As he reached the end, he began begging for alms, you know, the usual stuff they do. As he reached the end of the jeep, one of the passengers had his cellphone out, maybe texting someone. He, the passenger, was sitting on the end of the jeep. The child grabbed the phone and ran away.
Sadly, I couldn't do anything myself, since I was seated in front of the jeep. The passenger, flustered at first, got off and chased the child. The entire vehicle was in a commotion. The driver didn't know what to do. A few moments later, the light turned green. The driver at first didn't move, but the traffic behind him started honking their horns.
Who is to blame on this event? The driver, for allowing street children such as the criminal on this case to enter the public utility vehicle? Or the victim, for taking out his cellular phone at the scene of the crime? Me, for not being able to be a hero on this event? The child himself? Syndicates? Poverty? The Government? The law enforcers?
For me, you are to blame, the parents of the child. You can reason out that you are poor, but it's still your fault for having a child and not being able to provide for him, or at least teach him what is right and what is wrong. You can reason out that he might be an orphan, but there must be a parent of this child, and it is still their fault for abandoning him. You might even be dead, but knowing that you are having a child, you should have prepared for such events. You can reason out a lot of things, but in the end, this finger that points who to blame points to you.
Sincerely,
Witness to a Juvenile Crime,
Inggo
I never would've thought I'd need to send you another letter on the same subject, and so soon.
The time was just past seven, Just today, on my way home from school. I was riding a Project 6 jeepney from Trinoma. The jeep halted on a red light before turning left to Mindanao Avenue. A street child, maybe in early puberty, went in the vehicle and began wiping the people's footwear. As he reached the end, he began begging for alms, you know, the usual stuff they do. As he reached the end of the jeep, one of the passengers had his cellphone out, maybe texting someone. He, the passenger, was sitting on the end of the jeep. The child grabbed the phone and ran away.
Sadly, I couldn't do anything myself, since I was seated in front of the jeep. The passenger, flustered at first, got off and chased the child. The entire vehicle was in a commotion. The driver didn't know what to do. A few moments later, the light turned green. The driver at first didn't move, but the traffic behind him started honking their horns.
Who is to blame on this event? The driver, for allowing street children such as the criminal on this case to enter the public utility vehicle? Or the victim, for taking out his cellular phone at the scene of the crime? Me, for not being able to be a hero on this event? The child himself? Syndicates? Poverty? The Government? The law enforcers?
For me, you are to blame, the parents of the child. You can reason out that you are poor, but it's still your fault for having a child and not being able to provide for him, or at least teach him what is right and what is wrong. You can reason out that he might be an orphan, but there must be a parent of this child, and it is still their fault for abandoning him. You might even be dead, but knowing that you are having a child, you should have prepared for such events. You can reason out a lot of things, but in the end, this finger that points who to blame points to you.
Sincerely,
Witness to a Juvenile Crime,
Inggo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
