Dear Cosplayers,
Maybe I can overlook the fact that you're using brightly colored wigs with some of your hair sticking out. Maybe I can overlook the fact that your skin color does not match that of the character you're cosplaying as. Maybe I can overlook the fact that you're using store-bought costumes. Maybe I can overlook the fact that you're just not pretty. However, aside from the body size, one thing that makes me cringe when not done right is when your eyebrows do not match the color of your wig.
I mean, come on, what character has bright pink hair and black eyebrows? Maybe it can be overlooked if the character has dark hair. But if you're cosplaying a character who is blonde, red-headed, white-haired, or has some strange neon-colored hair, make sure your eyebrows match that color. I'm not asking for the carpet to match the drapes, but feel free to do so. All I'm asking is when I look at your face, I see only one color from every strand sticking out of your head, eyebrows included. If you can't do this, just use your natural hair color. It's more permissible than when your already ugly face wears a bright wig without the matching eyebrows.
tl;dr: Color your eyebrows, or don't wear a non-matching wig.
Sincerely,
Appalled Cosplay Viewer,
Inggo
14.9.09
7.9.09
On Cybersquatters
Dear Cybersquatters,
Why do you do this? Take all the good names, put nothing, and leave it until the release of Duke Nukem Forever. Perhaps it's Blogspot, Wordpress, and all the other hosts fault for not having an expiration of some sort, but still.
Anyway, you're making it a hard time for me to come up of a good name for my new blog, so fuck you.
tl;dr: Fuck you.
Sincerely,
Internet Real Estate Searcher,
Inggo
Why do you do this? Take all the good names, put nothing, and leave it until the release of Duke Nukem Forever. Perhaps it's Blogspot, Wordpress, and all the other hosts fault for not having an expiration of some sort, but still.
Anyway, you're making it a hard time for me to come up of a good name for my new blog, so fuck you.
tl;dr: Fuck you.
Sincerely,
Internet Real Estate Searcher,
Inggo
6.9.09
On McDonald's Burgers
Dear McDo,
Stop pressing on your burgers while cooking them. It takes all the juices out of the burger. I expected a juicy half pound chunk of meat, and I get a dry, well-done (and not the good way), and almost tasteless burger. I can tolerate the well-done part, since I don't really trust if the meat you use and the way it is stored and cooked is safe for rare consumption. However, the fact that I can't taste any fat in half-a-pound of beef of meat is unacceptable.
tl;dr: Do not press on your burgers.
Sincerely,
Hamburger Aficionado,
Inggo
Stop pressing on your burgers while cooking them. It takes all the juices out of the burger. I expected a juicy half pound chunk of meat, and I get a dry, well-done (and not the good way), and almost tasteless burger. I can tolerate the well-done part, since I don't really trust if the meat you use and the way it is stored and cooked is safe for rare consumption. However, the fact that I can't taste any fat in half-a-pound of beef of meat is unacceptable.
tl;dr: Do not press on your burgers.
Sincerely,
Hamburger Aficionado,
Inggo
24.8.09
On Irritating Facebook Apps
Dear Developers,
No, I don't want to allow your application to post on my wall. Please don't bug me with a message asking special permissions to post every time I attempt to use your application. I haven't allowed your application to do so the first time I used it, and I won't allow it ever. If I change my mind, I do know how to tinker with it at the application settings page. Don't develop it this way. It's irritating even for a time-wasting application.
tl;dr: Shut your application up.
Sincerely,
Professional Internet Denizen,
Inggo
No, I don't want to allow your application to post on my wall. Please don't bug me with a message asking special permissions to post every time I attempt to use your application. I haven't allowed your application to do so the first time I used it, and I won't allow it ever. If I change my mind, I do know how to tinker with it at the application settings page. Don't develop it this way. It's irritating even for a time-wasting application.
tl;dr: Shut your application up.
Sincerely,
Professional Internet Denizen,
Inggo
20.8.09
On More Reasons to Hate Macfags
Dear Macfag,
The reason my PC (note that I'm using the term `Personal computer`, not referring to the OS or the build of the machine, since it has a dual-boot OS and customized parts) broke is because its power supply is more or less 8 years old... almost half my age. It's not because "it's not a Mac", and because "it uses Windows"... no. I happened to have upgraded my machine quite a few times during its life, a feat you're machine will not accomplish.
Also, due to this predicament, my brother has to use the iMac here at home. Every time he connects, he always asks me to power-cycle our router because the stupid machine won't connect. No, it's not the router's problem, as its firmware is updated. It's because of that stupid machine, which explicitly states we should power-cycle our router to fix the problem.
Stop bugging me with your machine. I've already ordered for new parts which are superior to your just-for-show stupid gay people's machine. I'm sticking to my custom-built, fully-upgradable, gaming, entertainment, multimedia, and multipurpose machine. No, I'm not and never going to switch to a Mac. Period.
tl;dr: Your machine still sucks, and I'm not switching.
Sincerely,
Still a Macfag Hater,
Inggo
The reason my PC (note that I'm using the term `Personal computer`, not referring to the OS or the build of the machine, since it has a dual-boot OS and customized parts) broke is because its power supply is more or less 8 years old... almost half my age. It's not because "it's not a Mac", and because "it uses Windows"... no. I happened to have upgraded my machine quite a few times during its life, a feat you're machine will not accomplish.
Also, due to this predicament, my brother has to use the iMac here at home. Every time he connects, he always asks me to power-cycle our router because the stupid machine won't connect. No, it's not the router's problem, as its firmware is updated. It's because of that stupid machine, which explicitly states we should power-cycle our router to fix the problem.
Stop bugging me with your machine. I've already ordered for new parts which are superior to your just-for-show stupid gay people's machine. I'm sticking to my custom-built, fully-upgradable, gaming, entertainment, multimedia, and multipurpose machine. No, I'm not and never going to switch to a Mac. Period.
tl;dr: Your machine still sucks, and I'm not switching.
Sincerely,
Still a Macfag Hater,
Inggo
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