On a Pesky Multiply User

Dear Multiply User,

I don't know you. Therefore, I won't add you. Stop sending me invites that I will just reject. I don't care whatever kind of t-shirt you make, 'cause I don't have any money to buy them. And if you just want to invade into my private network just to have more contacts, sorry, but I respect my contacts' privacy.

And, no, I don't want to and won't be able to do business with you soon. And, no, I won't mention who you are, as it would provide publicity for you. Hah! If you really do know me, you'd mention it in your message. But as far as I remember, I know nobody with your handle or real name. Just because we're both in the same country doesn't mean we're already acquainted in any way.

The next invite you send me will be forwarded to Multiply's abuse report.


Real-life Contacts Only,


On McDonald's Hamburgers

Dear McDo,

I asked for something simple—a hamburger. It's basically your Cheeseburger—and I'm talking about your regular Cheeseburger, not your Cheeseburger deluxe—without the cheese. I even said I was willing to pay the same price for the Cheeseburger. And yet you insist that there's no such thing as a "hamburger" in your menu. Instead, you point me to another burger in your menu—Burger McDo.

I know what a Burger McDo is, and it is not a hamburger. I don't feel like eating cheese in my burger today. And I don't feel like having your mayo-ketchup sauce in my burger either. I want a plain hamburger, without the cheese, but with the pickle, ketchup, mayo, and onions. And I emphasize the "without the cheese" part.

How hard is it to remove the cheese from your burger? It's just a small slice, damnit. Do you cook your burgers with the cheese in the grill? I doubt.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy your Cheeseburger sometimes. And I usually have your Burger McDo. But today I'm feeling plain old hamburger, and you tell me you don't have it when clearly you do.

tl;dr: Bring back "Hamburger" in your hamburger store.


Not Feeling Cheese in His Burger Today,

While you're at it, why not create a Double Hamburger in your menu? Or a Double Burger McDo. If this sells, I expect some compensation for the idea.

Why did you remove your McRice burger? I found it extremely delicious.